Tears fall.

It's happening, all over again. A high school lives. And I still don't understand.
Scenario: Good friend, that you trusted, and care about turns on you, and then no longer wants to be your friend. So you have to grow up and act more matured, not spread the rumor like them, not even make eye contact or confront them just to avoid a situation that would not be pleasant. Its fine, I'm used to it. I'm used to be a bigger person. Even though it never pays off. I'm used to be the one who end up not getting all the friends after the break up. Because I am the one who doesnt fight for the friends and doesnt talk all the crap. I'm okay with not having any friends left because they have all gone with theirselves. Its okay, It just makes me sad that they dont even care to know my side, not that I would tell them, but they should ask. But you know I am happy. And I can live by myself and be alone. I'm starting to think I really am a true artist because my life always has some crazy ass drama. And I think most artists, who have really inspiring work, sure had fucked up dramatic lives. Maybe that will be me, in a good way I guess. Maybe I am not supposed to have friends right now. Its okay, I'm starting not to like people that much anymore. Is that bad? Well, people are kind of mean, so I think it's okay. I do believe that most people have cold hearts, but they are so good at hiding it for long periods of time, but it eventually comes out.

You guys ain't that good..

Yes, I do have friends, with families, who believes in living for the moment. And today I talked with myself about how amazing life is and what a miracle it is that we are here.. all of us. Life is our first and most precious gift. But, take it from me, I permanently took it in an opposite way.

I believe that life is the first and best gift we receive. My parents taught me that. The awareness of that gift creates gratitude, and gratitude is reflected in giving. We all have something to contribute or share the amount depends on your perception of abundance. The act of giving creates abundance in return, and I believe that is a universal law; not to mention it just plain makes you happy.

Yours never,

Dina